Texas



I remember very clearly the day I found out I would be leaving my home again.

My dad was in the military at the time, so I had experienced multiple moves, with the record being four new houses within 18 months. We had finally settled down in San Antonio, Texas, or settled the best we could. I had a best friend who lived right next door to me, I had a good school with nice teachers, and a healthy, happy community surrounding me. I had finally lived in one home long enough to remember the address years later.

One day, we were sitting at the family lunch table when my dad said he had an announcement. He informed us that we would be moving because of the military, that they didn't know where yet, but that it would be in the summertime at the end of my third-grade year. I remember my heart dropping and clenching in my chest as I looked up at my dad, my eyes brimming with tears.

I said I needed to go upstairs and excused myself, sitting at the top. Our staircase was formatted so that whoever was on the top could gaze through the railing and see directly to our kitchen table. I observed my brother and sister exclaiming in frustration, and my littlest sister bawling (she was too young to understand the conversation but could sense the hostility in their raised voices). I stayed up at the top of the dark staircase for as long as I could, trying to pretend what I was hearing wasn't real.

My mom sat up at the top of the stairs with me a few moments later and was attempting to convince me to be excited for the move, but I couldn't hear her. I remember hanging my head to the ground and lying spread horizontally across the staircase, covering my ears with my palms. I couldn't hear what my mom had to say because I was too devastated about leaving.

I knew that I would lose my best friends, Ellery and Charlotte. I knew I would never enter fourth grade at Wilderness Oak. I knew I would never see the new track on the field that was being developed over the summer we would leave. I knew I would never be able to walk under the bridge by my house again. I knew I would never be able to stay up late during a Texas thunderstorm with only a candle to light the room at night. I knew it was completely hopeless and that I would never love a place like I loved my home.